like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
