I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
