I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
