He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize