so that wasnt chicken after all
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
