Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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