your thong is hanging out like whoa
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
