Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
