I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
