we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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