i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
