I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
COCAINE IS GR8
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