I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
