Its about making memories worth repressing
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
