yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
