): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
