just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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