The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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