is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
