Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
