That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
