the new term for farting is butt boxing.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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