i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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