I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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