Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
