Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Randomize
