you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Your dad touched me again.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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