I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
