Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
