Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
