You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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