Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
