Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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