was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
