I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
