You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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