he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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