my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
