never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
