i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
