I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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