I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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