So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
