life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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