Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
