I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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