She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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