I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
