So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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