No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
