Ambien. No doubt about it.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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