Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize