I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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