So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize