So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
