She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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