like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
too bad you live with your parents still
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
whose parrot is this?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
