There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
