Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She's JV to your varsity
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
