yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
