In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
