dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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