I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
