and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize