were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize