please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Its about making memories worth repressing
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
