I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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