she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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