i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Terrible idea I love it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
