When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
