Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
