i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
