I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
