Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
